"The thing I was most taken by was the fact that the art I had on the walls could have such a powerful impact; that I needed to know what message I wanted to convey with the art that was up." - G. Russo, New York, NY

Additional Resources

Read "The House Rescued Me" to learn how a mother of two teenage sons found stability and psychological support by small changes to her own home.
Listen to "Quick Fixes to Make Any Room a Feel Good Room" - an episode of Dr. Morris' Internet Radio Show that provides simple tips for changing the feel of any room in your home.

Life Change = Home Change

Big personal life changes means changes in our living space. Kids grow up and move out (and sometimes back in again). Partners move in, partners move out. Babies arrive. A parent moves in. Empty nester downsizes. New job begets new residence. Home based business claims space. All of these events translate into a shake-up in your living situation which is discombobulating.

Getting Re-Grounded

Think of your home as a toolbox, filled with things that hold memories and trigger feelings. With this toolbox you can create a new nest that will meet the needs of your new life situation. Before the change occurs, walk around and take inventory. Really look at each thing in your home. Does it make you feel good? Does it inspire positive memories? The things you said yes to are the ingredients for an inspiring home. Place those things strategically in your new home configuration. They will help re-ground you. Too often people erase their positive memories and good feelings from their spaces by putting too many things away or getting rid of them when they begin sharing their space with another. That’s a mistake which will take a toll on the relationship.

What about those items that didn’t evoke a positive response? They may bring a smile to someone else. Consider selling or giving those things away. They are psychologically ‘expensive’ to keep around.

Blending

What about the other person’s stuff (assuming the other person isn’t a baby). Have them do the same thing you did in their current space. See how you can incorporate their things in your shared space without overwhelming the space. It may be that they have one room that is all theirs. It’s natural to feel like you’re giving up that room if you have your things in it. It will take some time to not feel that way. If you want harmony in your home, remove all of your things from that room and let them put their things in. I get asked, “Do I have to take out everything?” Yes! Otherwise there is a low level of tension that simmers around this issue and that’s not good for either of you.

Re-purposing Space

Whether it’s a home office, a baby’s room, a room for visiting family members, begin by asking the fundamental question: What is the job description of this room? Your answer will dictate what goes in and what stays out. A home office? You need a place for office supplies, so those clothes may have to vacate the closet. A baby’s room? The video game terminal and books need to go.

Multi-purpose Space

What about a space that serves more than one role? That is not uncommon. Creativity harnessed with some discipline is the solution. Lay out the home office so there’s enough floorspace for an inflatable mattress. Put desk height lighting within reach of a person on such a mattress. Consider room-darkening window treatments that you wouldn’t need if it were just an office. Have a locked file cabinet or safe in the room to secure your private papers when it’s a guest room.

Too Many Moving Parts?

Figuring out the best way to re-craft a new living space and negotiate with all the people in the space can be daunting. Moving our home is one of the most stressful things we can do, and re-vamping it is no picnic. Contact Dr. Morris, a neutral highly-skilled third party who specializes in shepherding clients into a newly inspiring home.